BLOG: Loosing self-control. 2026

Blog 4: Control.

No surprise and no difference. We all want to be in control, yet so many of us continue to “loose control”, or “lack control”. From mood, choices, diet, rage, anger, kids, family, jobs, co-workers, finances, pastors, government and so on. Control is extremely difficult. Over the last (many years), I have “owned” boats, wave runners, motorcycles, go carts, off road vehicles, campers, and several vehicles. The ones that brought me the most joy were the ones that I was able to quickly sell when it was time. They were all an experience sure, but the upkeep on these items is daunting. The time and money it cost to own and keep running in good working order was always more problem than value. They were all a good experience, and created fond memories, but all were short lived. I would see a stranger out and about appearing to have fun, and in my younger mind, I believed what they had created their experience of happiness and found myself in pursuit of my own purchase. As any of my prior teachers and they will affirm that “I” am a slow learner. It took many experiences, but over time I learned that none of those things brought me any happiness. It was the time with family and or friends that created the joyful moment. Now I see new cars, and side by sides and am overjoyed that I have none to “control”/ maintain. All of these things took time away from who I really am and what really brings me joy, which tends to be simplicity.

I don’t lean toward any one side of politics, but I did hear someone say that “in the future you will have nothing and be happy”. I couldn’t agree more. I mean, other than my Maslow’s “hierarchy of needs”, ie clean food, water, shelter (family friends and occasional medical need).

In the employment sector everyone wants to be “in control”, a manager, supervisor or project lead. I have sat in these seats as well, fighting my way to the top of Mount Sadness. They say, “the mess rolls downhill”, but it also rolls back up the other side. From the Marines to the nonprofit sector, I have seen my share of managers that were promoted based on their refusal to retire and couldn’t be fired. Everyone wants to be in charge I believe so they can feel a bit of power, no matter how small, power is power and makes many walk a bit taller, even in the shadows.

Even those of us in poverty to include homelessness desire control. Ever see a homeless person with a puppy? Its often about more than “a companion”, I mean, seems kind of cruel to drag an innocent animal into a terrible and dangerous situation of street life, because you “need a service animal”.

Many people even bring children into this world, and don’t really realize they have zero leadership or managerial experience, and that’s the foundation that children require. We believe we can “control” our children, but honestly we can’t. They don’t know this or we would be over run. Children hold all the power. Same with governments, they are there to control cities, but they have no control. Once people as a collective deem they have had too many “comforts” taken from them, they turn on governments.

When I was a youngster in the 1990’s, it was illegal to modify your car. No window tint, no rims, no loudspeakers, and nothing hanging from the rear-view mirror, but it was ok not to wear a seat belt… Now in 2026, all of that is “out the window”. I spend a lot of time in the city, and see people driving down one ways the wrong way, park blocking all traffic because they use their hazards to get out and run into a store, run red lights, do burn outs, drive with no plates, deal illegal substances, and have “open containers” at noon on a Thursday, all in the presence of law enforcement, and without skipping a beat. Why? Because the power is in the numbers of the people, not the leadership. The people forced change on their behalf through disobedience. I am not condoning any of these actions, what I am saying is that control is not real, yet everyone wants it, but doesn’t really know why, or what they would do with it.

Control is honestly a pain in the brain. It takes time, energy, money, endurance and our focus away from peace of mind. No one is truly in control except for God, the creator. Well, if you play your hand wrong you can allow the darkness to be in control of you for a short period, but they never ends well and cannot sustain itself, because when it all comes down to it, Gods even in control of the darkness.

A great deal of scripture is about surrender, giving up and giving in to God. Jesus died on the cross so that we would not have to “control” our sins, and loose control of our thoughts over past sins. Jesus said, you can either live in “this world, or His”, which is the spiritual, the Truth, Light and the Way. No matter what our place in life from poverty to power, life gets easier when we surrender control of it all to God, without looking back. This is why so many people rely on: SUGAR, PRESERVED FOODS, ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, and DRUGS, because they can not control their minds and thoughts to a point they would rather escape them. I am no different, I have indulged in all of the above, difference is I escaped those controllers and learned to cope. I often consider a quick dive back into all those ailments, just to take the edge off, and feel a little lighter, but after a quick conversation with myself, I maintain. After begging God to take the desires from me, I wouldn’t feel right about going back.

Peace.